Vampire Outbreak in Malawi
Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2018 6:30 am
Apparently vampires are on the loose in Malawi. These vampires change into dogs and cats rather than bats, and use medical devices and electronics to suck blood, even being able to do so at a distance. On one hand, I'm glad that science has brought its benefits to those in the unconventional medical field. On the other hand, it's been a bit rougher on those in the conventional medical field, as doctors have come under suspicion for being vampires. Sounds logical to me. Pedophiles seem drawn to fields involving children, aren't they?
The police insist there are no such things as vampires, but, in the face of such intransigence on the part of local law enforcement, vigilantes have taken matters into their own hands and killed eight suspected vampires. Though on the remote chance that these people were not, in fact, blood-suckers, this may lend weight to the "no-killing" policy of some DC superheroes, including the one dressing up as a giant bat and roaming the night. If that doesn't qualify as some kind of irony, I think it probably should. At the very least, it's got to be closer than rain on your wedding day.
The UN has pulled out of the affected region. I've looked at whether or not the Trump administration wants to put immigration restrictions in place to keep the vampires out, but I haven't been able to find anything. These not being European vampires, I don't know if the normal tests (garlic, mirrors, unfashionable clothing, sparkliness, etc.) would be of any use.
The police insist there are no such things as vampires, but, in the face of such intransigence on the part of local law enforcement, vigilantes have taken matters into their own hands and killed eight suspected vampires. Though on the remote chance that these people were not, in fact, blood-suckers, this may lend weight to the "no-killing" policy of some DC superheroes, including the one dressing up as a giant bat and roaming the night. If that doesn't qualify as some kind of irony, I think it probably should. At the very least, it's got to be closer than rain on your wedding day.
The UN has pulled out of the affected region. I've looked at whether or not the Trump administration wants to put immigration restrictions in place to keep the vampires out, but I haven't been able to find anything. These not being European vampires, I don't know if the normal tests (garlic, mirrors, unfashionable clothing, sparkliness, etc.) would be of any use.