Cows in space
Posted: Sun Feb 18, 2018 12:41 am
Star Trek: Cows from 1960s America explore the galaxy and discover that every planet in the galaxy suffers from one of the problems facing 1960s America.
Chekov-cow: Am not cow. Am bear.
Star Trek TNG Seasons 1&2: Cows from 1980s America explore the galaxy and discover that every planet in the galaxy suffers from one of the problems facing 1960s America.
Borg: We are cows. You will be eaten.
Romulans: You have a herd of cows. They constantly plot to take over the farm, but always get tangled up in the electric fence.
Cardassians: You have a herd of cows. They constantly plot to take over the farm, but all you can do is fight them to a stalemate.
Klingons: Not cows. Bulls.
Picard-cow: Can change you mind with mooving speeches.
Riker-cow: Bull.
LaForge-cow: No bull.
Wesley Crusher-cow: Cow-pie.
Star Trek DS9: Holy cow!
Orion Syndicate: You have two cows. Raimus takes his cut of the milk.
Ferengi: With the permission of the Grand Nagus, you are allowed to trade in cows.
Cardassian literature: You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state.
Mirror universe: Two cows have you. Oom.
Dominion: You have two cows. The Vorta tell you what to do with them.
Sisko-cow: Holy cow (to the Bajorans).
Star Trek: Voyager: You try to sell 500 dead cows as livestock. Few people are interested.
Kazon: You have two cows. They are special needs.
Ocampa: You have a herd of cows. The size of your herd halves every generation. Somehow, you still have a herd.
Borg: You have a herd of cows. They keep exploding after tripping over their own hooves.
Star Trek: Enterprise: You try to sell 200 rotting dead cows as livestock. Very few people are interested.
Babylon 5: Thirty cows go to the slaughterhouse. Twenty escape.
Earth Alliance (domestic policy): You have thirty thousand cows. Fuck everyone else. -OR- You have no cows, because the guy with 30,000 cows took all of yours.
Minbari: You have three cows. They spend their days looking for reasons to sacrifice themselves.
Centauri: You want all the cows.
Narn: The Centauri took all your cows.
Shadows: You have two cows. You kill one cow because killing it will make the other cow stronger. Somehow. Quick! Look over there! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!
League ambassadors: Cow? What is cow?
Season 5: You couldn't imagine what to do with your cow, so you sent it to the rendering plant.
ISA: You have twenty cows that refuse to walk in the same direction. One is really a tyrannosaurus rex that somehow repeatedly surprises you despite the fact that you're in the middle of a flat grassland plain and have perfect visibility to the horizon.
Crusade/Legend of the Rangers/The Lost Tales: You used the output of the rendering plant to make a cow. It smells funny.
Ivanova-cow: мoo.
Delenn-cow: Has long hair. Likes bison.
Sheridan-cow: Orange cow.
Zathras: You have several cows, but you can see only one at once.
Chekov-cow: Am not cow. Am bear.
Star Trek TNG Seasons 1&2: Cows from 1980s America explore the galaxy and discover that every planet in the galaxy suffers from one of the problems facing 1960s America.
Borg: We are cows. You will be eaten.
Romulans: You have a herd of cows. They constantly plot to take over the farm, but always get tangled up in the electric fence.
Cardassians: You have a herd of cows. They constantly plot to take over the farm, but all you can do is fight them to a stalemate.
Klingons: Not cows. Bulls.
Picard-cow: Can change you mind with mooving speeches.
Riker-cow: Bull.
LaForge-cow: No bull.
Wesley Crusher-cow: Cow-pie.
Star Trek DS9: Holy cow!
Orion Syndicate: You have two cows. Raimus takes his cut of the milk.
Ferengi: With the permission of the Grand Nagus, you are allowed to trade in cows.
Cardassian literature: You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state.
Mirror universe: Two cows have you. Oom.
Dominion: You have two cows. The Vorta tell you what to do with them.
Sisko-cow: Holy cow (to the Bajorans).
Star Trek: Voyager: You try to sell 500 dead cows as livestock. Few people are interested.
Kazon: You have two cows. They are special needs.
Ocampa: You have a herd of cows. The size of your herd halves every generation. Somehow, you still have a herd.
Borg: You have a herd of cows. They keep exploding after tripping over their own hooves.
Star Trek: Enterprise: You try to sell 200 rotting dead cows as livestock. Very few people are interested.
Babylon 5: Thirty cows go to the slaughterhouse. Twenty escape.
Earth Alliance (domestic policy): You have thirty thousand cows. Fuck everyone else. -OR- You have no cows, because the guy with 30,000 cows took all of yours.
Minbari: You have three cows. They spend their days looking for reasons to sacrifice themselves.
Centauri: You want all the cows.
Narn: The Centauri took all your cows.
Shadows: You have two cows. You kill one cow because killing it will make the other cow stronger. Somehow. Quick! Look over there! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!
League ambassadors: Cow? What is cow?
Season 5: You couldn't imagine what to do with your cow, so you sent it to the rendering plant.
ISA: You have twenty cows that refuse to walk in the same direction. One is really a tyrannosaurus rex that somehow repeatedly surprises you despite the fact that you're in the middle of a flat grassland plain and have perfect visibility to the horizon.
Crusade/Legend of the Rangers/The Lost Tales: You used the output of the rendering plant to make a cow. It smells funny.
Ivanova-cow: мoo.
Delenn-cow: Has long hair. Likes bison.
Sheridan-cow: Orange cow.
Zathras: You have several cows, but you can see only one at once.