Sci-fi Death Match: Neelix Vs Jar Jar

[PapaPalpatine]

Two sci-fi scrappies enter, one leaves. But which one? Or might it be a double elimination? Tell us how you think the fight would play out below.

[Yukaphile]

Jar Jar's stupidity was an asset. Neelix's stupidity got peopled killed. Remember the Battle of Naboo? Then remember "Basics?" Even SF Debris conceded Neelix makes "Jar Jar Binks look like Morgan Freeman." XD

[Winter]

Neelix is worse. Jar Jar isn't the best, by Lucas' own admission, but honestly I thought he was okay when I first saw him. And Jar Jar has the extra advantage of having a number of pretty awesome moments in The Clone Wars and the series willingness to admit that he was annoying which was also acknowledged in The Phantom Menace whereas Neelix the show kept trying to convince us his actually a really good character who really is funny and useful.

Hell Qui-Gon even openly calls Jar Jar an idiot and both he and Obi-Wan take just a little bit of joy in taunting him. Jar Jar, throughout most of the series hardly anyone calls Neelix out on his stupid and annoying behavior and the few times anyone does it's meant to be a sign that something is wrong with them because how could anyone not like Neelix.

And again, credit to George Lucas when he realized how fans felt about Jar Jar and reduced his role in the series. And that's actually one of the reasons I still like the guy and that is his willingness to poke fun at himself and admit that he does at least admit that he's not much of a storyteller though I think he's a bit to hard on himself but that's just me.

[Yukaphile]

Neelix's so-called "survival skills" cannot compare to Jar Jar's battlefield clumsiness that took out scores of Battle Droids and those hovertank things. Though imagine if this was the ending?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQfzM_lmVs4

Epic.

[MissKittyFantastico]

It's true that Jar Jar's bumbling worked like a sad-ass superpower, but I think for the sake of the exercise we have to remove that, or at least minimise its effect - otherwise anything Neelix does could be countered by Binks tripping over and landing ass-first on a button that sets off a metreon cascade.

I feel like Neelix is in with a shot at this, honestly. They both have their 'comedic' side - Jar Jar's more overtly slapstick, but I think basically equal in terms of the script treating them as comic relief and excusing them any realistic consequences of their actions, like being shot out of hand. Thing is, I don't see much of a dark side (no Force pun intended) to Jar Jar - assuming we're not counting the theory that he's a Sith Lord, that is. The furthest I remember Binks from his happy-go-die-in-a-fire self was mourning at Padme's funeral, to the surprise of all of us who doubted he even understood the concept of mortality. Neelix, though, I think you can push Neelix to the point where he snaps. Jar Jar 'snapping' I feel like is going to be flailing around and panicking; Neelix snapping, I can see him really losing his shit. With Jar Jar I feel like his levity is genuine - depending on whether you want to give him the benefit of the doubt or not, he's either just a naturally joyful person or too dumb to know better. Neelix laughs to cover up his grief - he's seen his world killed and walked through the ashes of his home and family falling like snow, and that's what's waiting for him behind his closed eyes when the door to his quarters closes and there's nobody there for him to be cheerful at. We see now and then how, if he's pushed far enough, his determination to make things better reveals that it's actually driven by rage at what's happened to him.

So basically what I'm imagining is Jar Jar capering around, doing some damage and getting away with it - but eventually, Neelix gets a firm grip on one of his floppy ears, and with his other hand he starts punching, and just keeps going. He's not seeing Jar Jar anymore, he's seeing a Haakonian, and this has been building up for a long time. Jar Jar falls down and Neelix goes with him, crouching over his chest and smashing his goofy face in as the sickened audience falls deathly silent, until his bruised knuckles are just ploughing through a gory pulp and hitting the floor. Neelix slowly gets to his feet, looking down but not seeing, and his eyes are hollow, like what he's done to Jar Jar's body, he's done to his own soul at the same time.

Then Boss Nass goes AHBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBLBL and roll credits.

[Yukaphile]

... okay, you had me at the end.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyBlOe2cT1Y

[Karha of Honor]

Two sci-fi scrappies enter, one leaves. But which one? Or might it be a double elimination? Tell us how you think the fight would play out below.

Weapons? No weapons?

Place?

[Yukaphile]

Mustafar. Plenty of chances to fall into lava, muahahahahahahaha...

[clearspira]

Let us not forget that Jar Jar went ahead and approved the clone army in Amidala's absence despite the fact that Amidala had been working for months AGAINST it. He is directly responsible for helping to bring about the end of the Republic and bring the Empire and later the First Order into power.

Neelix has killed a few people with his bumbling and nearly destroyed Voyager with cheese, but he has done nothing that compares to that.

That said, there is nothing creepy about Jar Jar. IMO Neelix's treatment of Kes came off as domestic abuse. ''How dare you have MALE friends, Kes?'' is what he clearly, dearly, wanted to say to her on several occasions.

[Wargriffin]

Jar Jar has Force Buffoonery