A question of remakes

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

For a moment, let us pretend that Hollywood is not as it is. Let us pretend that, instead of remaking good movies, remakes were made of bad movies with squandered potential, movies that deserve a second try, movies that could have been great. What movie would you remake? My choice would be Moontrap.

[clearspira]

The Last Action Hero.

I actually really enjoyed this film, and it is something of a cult classic now, but it just doesn't do enough with the premise. In my version the last part of the film where the villain is summoning all of these movie villains into the world such as Death, that would be far more of the movie than it currently is. The ''I am trapped in a Schwarzenegger movie'' bit started to lose steam after a while. The ISSUE though is finding a modern action star who has the screen presence of Schwarzenegger to carry it. He really was made for this film.

The Fifth Element/Valerian

I'm including both of these films because they are made by the same guy and suffer from the same problem: They are wide as an ocean yet deep as a puddle. Their beautiful worlds are wasted on what turn out to be just rather generic action films. All of my favourite moments came from their respective Act 1's. The opening of Valerian in particular with all of the aliens shaking hands? That was really well done, I thought.

Of the two I think Valerian is worse though and that honour goes to Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne. Horribly miscast. DeHaan acts like a clueless surfer bro throughout the whole movie and Delevingne is rather wooden. Plus they come off more like brother and sister than an UST coupling. And whilst I liked the IDEA of Rihanna's character - a shape-shifting sex slave is pretty interesting - but Rihanna cannot act, i'm sorry.

Edit: I just remembered that The Fifth Element has Ruby Rhod AKA Chris Tucker. Eek - now i'm torn as to which film has the worst acting. He is insufferable. And he is in TOO MUCH of the film. He might have been bearable as a bit part. And that scene with the air hostesses hasn't aged well either.

[Winter]

One thing to keep in mind is that, at the end of the day, storytelling is a business and stories are a product. Sure there is passion put into stories, that give insight into someone's very soul, to see the world from a new angle that can inspire us to be better or instill fear as to what we can become. But in the end, they're still being made by people who are trying to sell something because if what you're making doesn't sell then it doesn't matter what you have to say cause no one wants to buy it.

So when it comes to remakes in either films, games whatever while the idea of making something out of a story that was wasted sounds great on paper it's not the best move from a business standpoint.

Take for example clearspira's idea of making a remake of The Last Action hero. How do you go about pitching this idea to studio or more importantly the audience? This film has a mixed reception and is generally seen as just an okay movie even to this day. Not to mention you might not be able to get Arnold Schwarzenegger who was the main selling point to this film and if you do you have to account for his current age.

I've talk about a few stories that I hope to make and most of them are adaptations that is mainly because those are the stories that I'm most passionate about but I do have one or two that are original. Doomsday world, a story set on a alien world that had a series of unnatural disaster (zombies created, dragons and portals to a hell dimension) and has been isolated from the rest of the galaxy (the series is set in the future). The focus is one one the ships protecting the planet ends up crashing onto it is and the hero must work with those who live on the planet to survive.

Easy enough to market, it's an action horror film with a bit of romance. As long as the designs for the characters and monsters are interesting, easy to recreate for the toy market odds are good it would sell well.

But with a remake of the Last Action Hero? Doesn't have enough of a cult following, bombed at the box office and without Schwarzenegger might be impossible to market.

Not to mention there are just more writers who are interested in remaking stories they fell in love with. Batman has gotten so many reboots and remakes that I've honestly lost count at this point and that's just covering animation and films.

To close this out, you have the option to sell one of two stories you have to a studio. One is a remake of Mars Needs Moms of which you have worked on for a while taking the film in a new yet daring direction that manages to find a near perfect balance between comedy, horror all while managing to be viewable for both kids and adults.

The other option is Star Wars... Which film do you think the studio is going to want to put their backing behind?

[McAvoy]

One comes to mind only because I liked it. The two Guyver movies. First one was seriously bad due to have two directors with two different visions with bad acting and bad dialogue. Second one was much better made on only $2 million.

But the manga and the later 2006 anime has far better stories to make a movie off of. Though new stuff hasn't been made in years. The concept is interesting and could be made like a horror movie. Body horror, blood guts gore etc.

IMO will never happen. It would require a decent sized budget if you were to do it right.

[hammerofglass]

Max Payne. It had a really bad case of "nobody working on this likes or respects the source material or bothered to understand the story we're adapting so we'll make a bunch of pointless changes just for change sake and kill everything people liked about it in the process". The game would make a great movie, somebody should do that.

[Nealithi]

Battlefield Earth.

Hear me out, I watched the movie and kinda shrugged at it as a brainless movie. Then my friend that had loved the story handed me the book. While I am not an Hubbard fan, the book had more potential to it. And the screen play had very little in common.
So I think a remake where they try to be closer to the book would be better.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

One thing to keep in mind is that, at the end of the day, storytelling is a business and stories are a product. Sure there is passion put into stories, that give insight into someone's very soul, to see the world from a new angle that can inspire us to be better or instill fear as to what we can become. But in the end, they're still being made by people who are trying to sell something because if what you're making doesn't sell then it doesn't matter what you have to say cause no one wants to buy it.

So when it comes to remakes in either films, games whatever while the idea of making something out of a story that was wasted sounds great on paper it's not the best move from a business standpoint.

Take for example clearspira's idea of making a remake of The Last Action hero. How do you go about pitching this idea to studio or more importantly the audience? This film has a mixed reception and is generally seen as just an okay movie even to this day. Not to mention you might not be able to get Arnold Schwarzenegger who was the main selling point to this film and if you do you have to account for his current age.

I've talk about a few stories that I hope to make and most of them are adaptations that is mainly because those are the stories that I'm most passionate about but I do have one or two that are original. Doomsday world, a story set on a alien world that had a series of unnatural disaster (zombies created, dragons and portals to a hell dimension) and has been isolated from the rest of the galaxy (the series is set in the future). The focus is one one the ships protecting the planet ends up crashing onto it is and the hero must work with those who live on the planet to survive.

Easy enough to market, it's an action horror film with a bit of romance. As long as the designs for the characters and monsters are interesting, easy to recreate for the toy market odds are good it would sell well.

But with a remake of the Last Action Hero? Doesn't have enough of a cult following, bombed at the box office and without Schwarzenegger might be impossible to market.

Not to mention there are just more writers who are interested in remaking stories they fell in love with. Batman has gotten so many reboots and remakes that I've honestly lost count at this point and that's just covering animation and films.

To close this out, you have the option to sell one of two stories you have to a studio. One is a remake of Mars Needs Moms of which you have worked on for a while taking the film in a new yet daring direction that manages to find a near perfect balance between comedy, horror all while managing to be viewable for both kids and adults.

The other option is Star Wars... Which film do you think the studio is going to want to put their backing behind?

Okay, now you're just point-blank refusing to engage with the hypothetical premise. I *know* how Hollywood actually works. I'm saying "what if" and you're going "WELL IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT IN THE REAL WORLD SWEETIE "

Everyone else, thank you for sharing.

[Winter]

One thing to keep in mind is that, at the end of the day, storytelling is a business and stories are a product. Sure there is passion put into stories, that give insight into someone's very soul, to see the world from a new angle that can inspire us to be better or instill fear as to what we can become. But in the end, they're still being made by people who are trying to sell something because if what you're making doesn't sell then it doesn't matter what you have to say cause no one wants to buy it.

So when it comes to remakes in either films, games whatever while the idea of making something out of a story that was wasted sounds great on paper it's not the best move from a business standpoint.

Take for example clearspira's idea of making a remake of The Last Action hero. How do you go about pitching this idea to studio or more importantly the audience? This film has a mixed reception and is generally seen as just an okay movie even to this day. Not to mention you might not be able to get Arnold Schwarzenegger who was the main selling point to this film and if you do you have to account for his current age.

I've talk about a few stories that I hope to make and most of them are adaptations that is mainly because those are the stories that I'm most passionate about but I do have one or two that are original. Doomsday world, a story set on a alien world that had a series of unnatural disaster (zombies created, dragons and portals to a hell dimension) and has been isolated from the rest of the galaxy (the series is set in the future). The focus is one one the ships protecting the planet ends up crashing onto it is and the hero must work with those who live on the planet to survive.

Easy enough to market, it's an action horror film with a bit of romance. As long as the designs for the characters and monsters are interesting, easy to recreate for the toy market odds are good it would sell well.

But with a remake of the Last Action Hero? Doesn't have enough of a cult following, bombed at the box office and without Schwarzenegger might be impossible to market.

Not to mention there are just more writers who are interested in remaking stories they fell in love with. Batman has gotten so many reboots and remakes that I've honestly lost count at this point and that's just covering animation and films.

To close this out, you have the option to sell one of two stories you have to a studio. One is a remake of Mars Needs Moms of which you have worked on for a while taking the film in a new yet daring direction that manages to find a near perfect balance between comedy, horror all while managing to be viewable for both kids and adults.

The other option is Star Wars... Which film do you think the studio is going to want to put their backing behind?

Okay, now you're just point-blank refusing to engage with the hypothetical premise. I *know* how Hollywood actually works. I'm saying "what if" and you're going "WELL IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT IN THE REAL WORLD SWEETIE "

Everyone else, thank you for sharing.

My intent is more to try argue how do you sell ideas like this to a studio because, truth be told, I like the idea of remaking stories that didn't work out and giving them a second chance. For a non-film example look at Dragon Age 2, this is a game FULL of potential with a good if not great story that was ruined by a rushed development.

Hell one idea I do have is not so much a remake but a sequel to an otherwise underwhelming project to most causal viewers is a sequel to Raya and the Last Dragon. I personally really enjoyed this film but don't deny that it's not as good as it could have been that we don't get a real chance to know this world and any character not named Raya and Namaari just aren't all that interesting.

The point I was trying, and failing, to make is not "This can't be done" but rather "How do you sell this to make it work."

When I was a teenager I would buy a whole Pizza before I went to school and bring it to the teacher's staff room. At lunch I would take 1 or 2 slices for myself and sell the rest but only to those who I shared a class with and only those who wouldn't bully me. And it was 3 or 5 dollars a slice to anyone who wanted one. I had to convince most of my class bullies that it was better to pay me an unreasonable amount of money AND to at least ignore me throughout the day in a First Come First Served situation. And I pulled it off.

The reason for that, I was able to sell them on the idea that buying one or two slices a pizza from someone they bullied was better then just going to the nearest pizza hut to just buy a pizza for themselves because doing so was to inconvenient for them. It got to the point that the staff tried to get me to stop because everyone was complaining I wasn't buying more then one pizza a day but I was able to convince them to let me continue for a few more weeks (aka months) on the grounds that this was improving my grades because fewer people were bullying me.

This was all ridiculous but I got away with it all because of a few good sale pitches.

My point is "How would you go about selling this."

Like say you want to make a remake of Battlefield Earth or Plan 9 From Outer Space. There either comedies or you want to played seriously, doesn't matter, how do sell that to a studio and the audience? How do you go about this because it can be done, you just need sell them on it.

Again, wasn't clear on that at all so that's my bad but this is more of what I was trying to say. I'm better at selling an idea then I am at explaining it, go figure.

[Nobody700]

Eh, Winter, you're not getting into the fun of things.

Personally, theirs a lot I'd remake, but instead of the big names... I'll fire three small names.

1. Flinstones. I dunno, I'd enjoy a fun Flinstones remake of the jokes of the prehistoric age meeting the new high up to date age when man invents... THE WHEEL! With the wheel replacing feet, and many more things, can Fred Flinstone keep his job, or will he become an anti technology bigot to survive a new fast paced life that prizes speed over grit.
2. The adventures of Buckaroo Banzai. But instead of a straight remake, it's a remake... and they know it, and play with it. Admitting they are altered clones stuck in a time loop, trying to break out of their trap and go back to their actual new fun adventures.
3. The Bye Bye man. Just make it a pure comedy of a supernatural serial killer... who SUCKS, gets his ass kicked, and everyone mocks and beats up as he tries to be awesome and scary... but he's the Bye Bye man, so NO one gives a rats ass and he can't even mug a little old lady for her purse, despite being a supernatural monster from the depths of hell.

[clearspira]

I have recently been watching a TV series named ''Lexx'' on Amazon Prime. I came back to it out of a certain fascination, ''was it as weird as I remembered back in the day?''

Yep! Oh hell yeah! This is the weirdest, strangest, most unique and most fascinating experience that you'll have out of a TV show. How did it get made? How was it ever allowed? But what could we turn it into today if we were allowed to? I almost certainly will not watch the whole thing but for now it has me gripped in that ''so bad its good'' joy.

How best to describe Lexx? Imagine if Farscape had the acting, plotlines and budget of softcore porn. The main crew consists of Stanley (a middle-aged man constantly trying to get laid), Xev (a sexy young nymphomaniac), 790 (a robot head that is murderously in love with said nympho), and Kai (a man who is quite literally a dead man walking who cannot have sex but the nympho wants anyway). And they all live aboard a living ship (see what I mean about Farscape?) that is shaped like a penis and in which everything on-board is shaped like a penis. Shower head? Penis. Food dispenser? Penis. And did I mention that this ship has a Death Star laser and eats planets?

And despite what you may be thinking, oh, this was on mainstream TV all right. You did not have to buy a copy from ''Dodgy Dave'' down an alley. This was a joint production between Canada, Germany and the UK - and it even aired on the Sci-Fi Channel at one point. It got four seasons!

You could not make this show today in its current form obviously (hell, I am not convinced that you could make Farscape in its current form today) but it really is a unique viewing experience because do you know what else this show is? DARK. Much darker than you would first think just to look at it. I won't get into it, but yeah. If you are planning to watch it I guess that I should offer trigger warnings for death, torture and implied rape.

It is one of the weirdest shows that I have ever watched and In a different world that still allowed such shows I think you could make something out of it today. That was the original brief of this thread after all lol.