I'm writing this to you all because I realize that the past six weeks have been unusual for the show. I have attempted to run it with as much professionalism as I can. Recent events suggest that this is no longer the case, and may give you the impression that I am turning away from this, or have lost interest. I'm writing this to assure that nothing could be further from the truth.
I love what I do. I work too hard at my job because I love it that much. I also have a combination of personal history that compels me to push through. My parents through their actions set the example that you do what you must, regardless of circumstance. And in college, I suffered an undiagnosed illness that left me sometimes unable to speak, frequently feverish, always miserable. I student taught for eighteen school days in this condition, but was unable to teach the final two; my parents finally picked me up and hospitalized me to treat me and find out what was wrong. I failed the course as a result, and completely altered the trajectory of my life. It only further instilled in me a loathing of personal weakness.
It was explained to me that it's a matter of attrition. You carry and carry and carry but eventually, one more thing becomes too much to carry. With the absurdity of the move being rolled back without warning after nine months of work, I stubbornly decided to plow ahead with my plans regardless, to not allow these problems to continue to interfere. This was, in retrospect, foolhardy. It was unsustainable. I do not feel the work was ever compromised, but it's clear that I was compromising myself.
The revelation hit like a ton of bricks. Literally. And I use that word accurately. I'll be telling the story on the show of the impossible-to-believe "chimney of surprise," but it was that moment where it was just going to take one more thing, and that was it. I have been producing the best show that I can since then, but its release has been spotty. People have been saying I should take a break, I've always taken that as the good natured advice we all need, but when even someone who works as hard as Linkara does tells you that you need to step away, it's probably time to listen.
But it's hard to break old habits, and how you think is a habit. I feel like I did during those final days of student teaching, knowing what I should do, determined to crawl if necessary to do what needs doing. It's just saying "I just have to do this," "I just have to reach this point," "I just need to survive for this long," until it's behind you and you can set the next one. When you say "I just can't do that any more" and are met with "then you have failed," you can understand why it is so hard to ever say those words again.
But I have finally gotten it beaten into my thick skull, and it took literally getting hit by a ton of bricks to do it. I just can't do that any more.
You have no idea how hard it was to type that. I had to stop and compose myself before I could continue.
I am sorry. I have been stubborn. I should have just put on the brakes. I should have just accepted that I am not invincible. I should have just accepted that burning willpower to achieve slow, sporadic progress was worse than just doing nothing. Sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is to admit you're not as strong as your self-image says you are, and that there's no shame in that.
You have supported me and encouraged me for a very long time. I thank you for that. Please accept my deepest apology for the gravity of my mistake. And please be patient as I take corrective measures.
I will be stepping away from the show until July 17, then I will begin working on it again. Until that time, nothing will happen, so nothing will be released that day, I just wanted to tell you what the idea is. I'm going to fix the hole in my ceiling and repair a lot of broken wiring (turns out a falling chimney is not good for your electrical system). But otherwise, I'm going to rest to try to come back refreshed and give you the best damn show that I can.
Thank you. LL&P
Assurances
Assurances
“I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time.”
― Herbert Bayard Swope
― Herbert Bayard Swope
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- Redshirt
- Posts: 30
- Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2017 6:17 pm
Re: Assurances
Chuck, I found your show 10 years ago and it has never failed to entertain and more often than not, educate. I don't always agree with you, but you explain your logic so I can understand your perspective. That is something many reviewers do not do. They simply belt out "THIS IS STUPID!!!!!!!" as if the volume of their throat-shredding somehow adds credence to the statement. You've also been very open about this being a single-person production effort, something that honestly only further impresses. So I say this with all the earnestness and sincerity I can put into the statement: Take a break. Catch your breath, do what you need to do. The quality of your productions isn't going to be better if you hospitalize yourself. I've been here for 10 years and I'll be here when you come back.
- clearspira
- Overlord
- Posts: 5676
- Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2017 12:51 pm
Re: Assurances
I've been watching you for at least ten years, and I cannot tell you how many content creators I have seen rise and fall in that time. The fact that you have lasted this long with such little schedule slip is amazing. It is a rare thing.
You've earned it, mate.
And the beauty of your channel is that you have so much content available that we may not even notice you've gone. I think of it as a nice excuse to go back to ''Caretaker'' and binge watch Voyager
You've earned it, mate.
And the beauty of your channel is that you have so much content available that we may not even notice you've gone. I think of it as a nice excuse to go back to ''Caretaker'' and binge watch Voyager
- CrypticMirror
- Captain
- Posts: 926
- Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 2:15 am
Re: Assurances
Take the time needed to look after your health, it must come first.
- TheNewTeddy
- Officer
- Posts: 102
- Joined: Sat Feb 11, 2017 10:50 am
Re: Assurances
I kind of wish you'd take even more time. to august, or september.
Re: Assurances
Knowing what I've had to deal with last year and everything, I can sympathize. Honestly, I had a feeling you were tired and needed a rest. I'm sorry to hear it got so bad. And I hope you'll take whatever time you need to get yourself back in order. Give yourself a rest, re-watch some stuff you like, enjoy yourself. It's better than running yourself ragged man. Trust me, people will still be here when you come back. I will be at least.
Please be well.
Please be well.
Re: Assurances
Take all the time you need.
I've said it before and I'll say it again
Your health and sanity come first before review output.
I view this break as succeeding via resting on a long and difficult path.
You've given us over a decade of free entertainment, so we're happy to wait until you're ready to return.
I've been a fan since before Blip, and I'll still be here when you run out of Star Trek to cover.
I've said it before and I'll say it again
Your health and sanity come first before review output.
I view this break as succeeding via resting on a long and difficult path.
You've given us over a decade of free entertainment, so we're happy to wait until you're ready to return.
I've been a fan since before Blip, and I'll still be here when you run out of Star Trek to cover.
Re: Assurances
There's no shame in taking time off
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- Officer
- Posts: 198
- Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2017 12:09 am
Re: Assurances
Chuck, given how incredibly good and consistent your output as been for over a decade now, if you took a year off, not only do I not think any of us would hold it against you, the vast majority of us would say you've earned that break and more.
To paraphrase something you said in the DW Wiped, Junked, But Not Forgotten, now matter how loved a piece of media is, its not more important than the lives (or health) of real people and that applies to your content and you. There is a backlog of funny, insightful, and damn good videos of yours to enjoy, and being able to watch those while knowing that you're getting the chance to recover, even just a little bit, from the stresses of everyday life is enough for me.
To paraphrase something you said in the DW Wiped, Junked, But Not Forgotten, now matter how loved a piece of media is, its not more important than the lives (or health) of real people and that applies to your content and you. There is a backlog of funny, insightful, and damn good videos of yours to enjoy, and being able to watch those while knowing that you're getting the chance to recover, even just a little bit, from the stresses of everyday life is enough for me.