Review of Star Trek IV the Search for Whales. "How many of my viewers look at this guy and ask 'Dad?' "
Referring to the punk on the bus. I think of that one whenever I need a laugh.
"She had a baby yesterday. If I were to examine her now, I would not be able to tell she had a baby or had ever had a baby. It was...as if the incident never happened."
"Yes, well, it's your first Star Trek episode. You'll get used to it."
"Believe me, there’s nothing so terrible that someone won’t support it."
— Un Lun Dun, China Mieville
I think it might be the bit about Sisko and the Huge Black Penis because it's both hilarious and perfectly demonstrates why the character of Chakotay just plain does not work.
Gotta be the Sword of Kahless episode of DS9. And one point Chuck makes a joke about how old people will ramble on, and then he starts a story about Nicotine Nemo and it goes on for a very long time. And it just keeps going and going as a completely pointless and off topic tangent about nothing. It's just such a random digression and the voice he uses cracks me up every time.
I actually tend to be a little more understanding of old men rambling on like that. They're just reliving the old fun times for them. Hell, I'm already getting that way just thinking back on my college days and friends I haven't seen for a while. :/
"Black care rarely sits behind a rider whose pace is fast enough."
-TR
Here's another good one. Not my favorite, but... worth mentioning.
K'VADA: You. Do you know what the Romulans will do to you if they discover who you are?
PICARD (SF DEBRIS): Hch-yeah, what's the worst they can do, clone me? Ha! That'll be the day!
"A culture's teachings - and more importantly, the nature of its people - achieve definition in conflict. They find themselves, or find themselves lacking."
— Kreia, Knights of the Old Republic 2: The Sith Lords