Cabin in the Woods review

[Deledrius]

Or, if you want it more in-your-face, how the Buckner-zombie kills the director instead of everyone else in the room, which would have incidentally completed the ritual, thus eliminating the means to complete the ritual and thus awakening the Ancient Ones. This leaves only one conclusion: The Ancient Ones are fucking around with us, as they were always in control of the situation.

I see another possibility for the Buckners: they're just chaotic and uncontrolled. If so, the final result was simple bad luck. Humanity fumbled their dice roll.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

But that brings up questions about the whole nature of the monsters and the control over them, questions that I don't think the creators thought out very well.

Whatever tech they've got going on can keep ghosts, shape-shifters, and literal demons caged up, somehow. Given that the "grave" leads into the control rooms, it's possible that they weren't "dead" at all and ressurected, that the actual ressurection spell is a pretense and they've been hanging out in their transparent aluminum booth.

Where the redneck torture zombies ever actually human? Ditto for the zombies and angry ghosts and werewolves. We have a Biology department, chemistry department, engineering, but they don't mention anything about a Sorcery or Necromancy departments. If these monsters are something that just happens in the wider world, how did the company gain control of them in the first place? If not, then how do they create these physics-defying creatures like ghosts and zombies and demons by scientific means? How are all of these varied things easily contained by a transparent, tangible booth with no apparent spells or special energy fields? Given the diversity of monsters on display, I'd expect each and every one of them to have its own special type of reinforced booth, either made of rowan wood or surrounded by electricity or silver-washed iron with a UV lamp, but the bulletproof glass elevators seem to serve as a one-size-fits-all for each of them.

[SuccubusYuri]

What makes the most sense to me, considering all those limitations, is that there is some mechanism that recognizes the company as the executors of the contract, and the creatures themselves allied to the Ancient Ones. Be that rituals or something else more nebulous (which I say makes the stoner as the 'new company' making more sense as their 'immunity' was passed on to him maybe). Even if it's something as simple as the Ancient Ones holding their metaphorical leashes in real time as their creators. "We do the killing, you pick the victims".

Otherwise, why do we need these lengths? This isn't "monsters inc". If this is just about fear and ritual killing, isn't it way, way easier to just select a few hardened serial killers from prisons, or just train a few yourself, to kill your victims? We literally have satanic cult members lying around in prisons very good at this sort of thing. Being chased, tortured, raped, and murdered, should be a pretty terrifying experience, shouldn't it? Or Whedon has a whole new cynicism about how apathetic nine year olds are to their personal existence.

[Nevix]

The thing is Marty seems to completely believe the story about the elder gods awakening if he doesn't die.
If he were incredulous about it then that would be understandable - I would be too.

Now, if Marty wasn't a pretentious misanthrope I might find the ending a little more understandable, taking one's own life based on spurious claims by what appear to be raving psychopaths would be a very hard thing to do, and presenting Marty as being indecisive instead of judgemental would help me accept it more.
As for the world being wiped clean, personally I detest any sort of story where that happens. The population at large should not be killed off for the percieved crimes of some, even if their society is inherently corrupt.
To use a real world example, I think the societies of North Korea and Saudi Arabia are loathesome. But if I had a button I could press to erase them from existence and start again, I wouldn't do it. Because whatever the crimes of their society, and however many there perpetuate it, they are not all guilty, and they don't deserve to die for it.

And that's the dilemma. Billions are living because a few hundred thousand kill a few hundred (at most) every year.

But they live on a lie based on killing a few, every year, consistently, without fail.

Personally, I want to see a sequel AND a prequel to Cabin in the Woods.

For the Prequel? Seeing one of the sites set up, while getting some history on how the organization was created.

And for the Sequel? Humans fighting back against the alien monstrocities, and surviving.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

So last night I dreamed I watched the Cabin in the Woods prequel on VHS. It was set in some snowy mansion, and there was a stupid "no, YOU are the serial killer!" twist, along with a bunch of creepy dolls.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

What makes the most sense to me, considering all those limitations, is that there is some mechanism that recognizes the company as the executors of the contract, and the creatures themselves allied to the Ancient Ones. Be that rituals or something else more nebulous (which I say makes the stoner as the 'new company' making more sense as their 'immunity' was passed on to him maybe). Even if it's something as simple as the Ancient Ones holding their metaphorical leashes in real time as their creators. "We do the killing, you pick the victims".

Otherwise, why do we need these lengths? This isn't "monsters inc". If this is just about fear and ritual killing, isn't it way, way easier to just select a few hardened serial killers from prisons, or just train a few yourself, to kill your victims? We literally have satanic cult members lying around in prisons very good at this sort of thing. Being chased, tortured, raped, and murdered, should be a pretty terrifying experience, shouldn't it? Or Whedon has a whole new cynicism about how apathetic nine year olds are to their personal existence.

But if the monsters are allies or servitors of the Ancient Ones, then why do we have a biology department? The monster diversity in the film keeps butting heads with too many logistical questions about their nature and origins in context.

[CharlesPhipps]

I think there's a lot of zigs when the movie is zagging in the criticism.

1. The first part is the Great Old Ones are being treated a tad too literally here. They're not actually Cthulhu, they're the audience. The lazy as fuck cultists are the production companies which produce horror which is stupid, repetitive, and exactly what the audience wants. Joss is commenting on the fact they would have done Friday the Thirteenth Saw on Elmstreet XXXXIV if they could have gotten the box office from it and most horror movies are some sort of knock off of a knock off nowadays. Scream did it beforehand that the genre had become incredibly stale.

When we're complaining about the ending, we're complaining as the Great Old Ones are. Literally, the argument is, "The ending sucks and he should have been sacrificed!" As the bad guys do.

2. On the Good Place, they have Chidi the painfully naive philosophy professor pathologically incapable of dealing with the trolley experiment. I.e. "You can save 5 people by moving the trolley but it will run over 1 person instead." The protagonists choose to opt out of a system which will justify regular horrific torture and murder of innocents to save the world. I.e. something done to their friends less than an hour ago.

While you may argue that's evil--it's a moral choice. That to do evil even to save the world is still evil and to refuse it. Just not a moral you may agree with.

[CharlesPhipps]

But if the monsters are allies or servitors of the Ancient Ones, then why do we have a biology department? The monster diversity in the film keeps butting heads with too many logistical questions about their nature and origins in context.

I don't have the link but Joss said they're the dreams of the Great Old Ones, so literally the act of having them murder people is a sweet dream for them.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

But if the monsters are allies or servitors of the Ancient Ones, then why do we have a biology department? The monster diversity in the film keeps butting heads with too many logistical questions about their nature and origins in context.

I don't have the link but Joss said they're the dreams of the Great Old Ones, so literally the act of having them murder people is a sweet dream for them.

Which questions why we have the biology department, etc.

So the answers for this film I'm unhappy with are "All there in the manual (TM)" and "It's meta!"

Joss Whedon needs to seek professional treatment for his addiction to SYYMMBOOOLIIISSMM!!! You are throwing out a Doylist justification which utterly fails to address the Watsonian issues with the film.

[Nevix]

What makes the most sense to me, considering all those limitations, is that there is some mechanism that recognizes the company as the executors of the contract, and the creatures themselves allied to the Ancient Ones. Be that rituals or something else more nebulous (which I say makes the stoner as the 'new company' making more sense as their 'immunity' was passed on to him maybe). Even if it's something as simple as the Ancient Ones holding their metaphorical leashes in real time as their creators. "We do the killing, you pick the victims".

Otherwise, why do we need these lengths? This isn't "monsters inc". If this is just about fear and ritual killing, isn't it way, way easier to just select a few hardened serial killers from prisons, or just train a few yourself, to kill your victims? We literally have satanic cult members lying around in prisons very good at this sort of thing. Being chased, tortured, raped, and murdered, should be a pretty terrifying experience, shouldn't it? Or Whedon has a whole new cynicism about how apathetic nine year olds are to their personal existence.

Ignoring the movie's "The Ancient Ones are the modern audience" theme (Which makes the whole movie a bit too meta and almost pointless as anything other than a TAKE THAT! at the movie industry/modern audiences.) and just taking the movie as Eldritch Horror:

My theory is that the whole yearly ritual was once a very informal thing, done naturally by random monsters in areas where people entered every so often, and never came back.

After that, once writing and such developed, the ritual sites would be those areas on maps where "Here be monsters!", or ruins and old places where the signs warn people away, and still the monsters aren't deliberately there.

I think, at some point around the Victorian era, people would try to control the monsters, and that's when people would start to hear the Ancient Ones, and the beginning of the corporate death factory would be there.

But... given The Harbinger's role, it's likely that some of the sacrifices were done personally by worshipers over the years, and that there were likely thralls to the Ancient Ones to make sure the warning was delivered, or that no one interfered.

As for After The End? I don't think humanity is doomed in the Cabin in the Woods universe, but I do think it's gonna be rather shit, to put it mildly. I honestly prefer to believe that there's an alternate universe of Pacific Rim where Pacific Rim is the sequel to Cabin in the Woods.

Also, yeah. Joss Whedon really did vent his spleen all over Hollywood, horror audiences, and probably a few other targets I'm missing.

He's a good writer, especially for snappy/witty dialog, but he can be a bit of a dink sometimes.