Lesbians being pressured into sex by pre-op transwomen

[McAvoy]

If a person knowingly gets themselves totally wasted, I'd say they're actively seeking to get into trouble and are essentially consenting to not being able to consent.

what the fuck dude

Yeah. That was just a long way of saying 'she was asking for it'.

There is a huge difference with fucking with someone who is drunk like writing on their face while drunk for example to actually taking advantage of a woman or man who is unable to say no.

[Mickey_Rat15]

First, what does that have to do with the topic?

Essentially transphobia and people's bad reaction to potential partners being trans is nothing remotely new nor is the fact that women are having a bad reaction to transmen anything particularly noteworthy since men have been having bad reactions for decades. There's a sense this is a "new" development in the OP and it certainly isn't.

Second, Nip/Tuck is fiction, and not very good fiction at that.

I think it's preferable to use fictional examples when discussing these sorts of topics on a fantasy board because otherwise it's gross and exploitative. Besides, we're discussing the emotions and actions taken from them versus the actual events of RL that we can't have a 100% insight into. Hence fiction being much more useful than RL.

People generally have a bad reaction when they see themselves as being defrauded and matters of sex bring up some of the rawest, most powerful emotions a human can experience. That is one reason why societies develop etiquitte and rituals around forming sexual relationships in an attempt temper them.

One needs to careful about drawing conclusions from fictional scenarios as the writer controls the motivations of both sides of the conflict and will often straw man the antagonist.

[Mickey_Rat15]

BTW, have you noticed that this only ever goes one way? Transmen aren't complaining that they cannot have sex with men, transmen aren't complaining that they cannot use men's prisons.

My actual, real-life gay trans friend is annoyed because a lot of men get grossed out when they find out he's a vagina. He says this is a common problem.

The issue here is what one is defining the problem as. Is it that your friend is looking for a gay man who does not mind having a partner with a vagina, which presumably is a small subset of a relatively small subset of the population thereby narrowing your friend's choices considerably, or is the problem that gay men generally prefer sex partners who have penises?

Defining it as the latter implies there is something wrong with having a sexual preference.

[hammerofglass]

I always think of Captain Jack when I see this kind of conversation.

"You guys, with your cute little categories."

[ProfessorDetective]

I always think of Captain Jack when I see this kind of conversation.

"You guys, with your cute little categories."

Yeah, same.

As to that classic scenario, I'd be 'not what I expected, but I can work with this.'

If we've actually gone that far, I'm not stoping unless they tell me to.

[CharlesPhipps]

People generally have a bad reaction when they see themselves as being defrauded and matters of sex bring up some of the rawest, most powerful emotions a human can experience. That is one reason why societies develop etiquitte and rituals around forming sexual relationships in an attempt temper them.

One needs to careful about drawing conclusions from fictional scenarios as the writer controls the motivations of both sides of the conflict and will often straw man the antagonist.

Of course the defense that they're being "tricked" or "trapped" is based on transphobia, especially violently so.

As for fictional scenarios, again, its just my preference because I don't like using real people's death and pain to talk about subjects in the hypothetical.

[Madner Kami]

Of course the defense that they're being "tricked" or "trapped" is based on transphobia, especially violently so.

Relationships, at least of the more-than-one-night kind of type, demand a lot of investment in time, emotions, cognition and economic efforts. If someone invests that much into it, only to get the rug pulled out from under their feet, then I don't think it's transphobia causing a huge backlash. Percieving it as being tricked or trapped into something they wouldn't want in the first place if they had known all the facts, is quite a fitting description in my eyes (even though there's no ill intend behind the action, but quite more likely a form of self-defense). Naturally violence isn't justified by that, doubly so if it's at the end of an abruptly ended one night stand, but I doubt I have to point that out.

[McAvoy]

BTW, have you noticed that this only ever goes one way? Transmen aren't complaining that they cannot have sex with men, transmen aren't complaining that they cannot use men's prisons.

My actual, real-life gay trans friend is annoyed because a lot of men get grossed out when they find out he's a vagina. He says this is a common problem.

The issue here is what one is defining the problem as. Is it that your friend is looking for a gay man who does not mind having a partner with a vagina, which presumably is a small subset of a relatively small subset of the population thereby narrowing your friend's choices considerably, or is the problem that gay men generally prefer sex partners who have penises?

Defining it as the latter implies there is something wrong with having a sexual preference.

This is why I don't understand the trans community. I am all for them to be what they want or need to be to make themselves feel comfortable in their own skin. I don't understand but I do accept.

The vanilla gay community I understand. A gay man likes men. A gay woman likes women. Got it. Love. Makes sense to me.

[hammerofglass]

Of course the defense that they're being "tricked" or "trapped" is based on transphobia, especially violently so.

Relationships, at least of the more-than-one-night kind of type, demand a lot of investment in time, emotions, cognition and economic efforts. If someone invests that much into it, only to get the rug pulled out from under their feet, then I don't think it's transphobia causing a huge backlash. Percieving it as being tricked or trapped into something they wouldn't want in the first place if they had known all the facts, is quite a fitting description in my eyes (even though there's no ill intend behind the action, but quite more likely a form of self-defense). Naturally violence isn't justified by that, doubly so if it's at the end of an abruptly ended one night stand, but I doubt I have to point that out.

Is that a common occurrence in your life? Because it sounds like a hugely unlikely and contrived scenario that would require everyone involved to consciously choose to make a series of bad decisions to get there.

[Fuzzy Necromancer]

BTW, have you noticed that this only ever goes one way? Transmen aren't complaining that they cannot have sex with men, transmen aren't complaining that they cannot use men's prisons.

My actual, real-life gay trans friend is annoyed because a lot of men get grossed out when they find out he's a vagina. He says this is a common problem.

The issue here is what one is defining the problem as. Is it that your friend is looking for a gay man who does not mind having a partner with a vagina, which presumably is a small subset of a relatively small subset of the population thereby narrowing your friend's choices considerably, or is the problem that gay men generally prefer sex partners who have penises?

Defining it as the latter implies there is something wrong with having a sexual preference.

This is why I don't understand the trans community. I am all for them to be what they want or need to be to make themselves feel comfortable in their own skin. I don't understand but I do accept.

The vanilla gay community I understand. A gay man likes men. A gay woman likes women. Got it. Love. Makes sense to me.

The trans community isn't actually that hard to understand. They just want to be recognized as themselves, rather than what other people decide they are. Trans men want people to stop telling them that they are women, trans women want people to stop telling them that they are men, and trans nonbinary people want others to recognize that they don't fit neatly into the Man or Woman box and treat them accordingly.

The reason I brought up my friend was because he flatly contradicts OP's "This only happens with trans women" assertion.