Star Trek: Discovery - Season 4 (With Spoilers)

[clearspira]

So apparently I have Paramount+ at my house so I technically have no reason to not watch this show anymore.

Of course there is. You could do literally anything else with that time.

[Mabus]

Episode 3:
-A wild captain's log by Micheal Burnham shows up, probably she'll burn it, get it? Burn it..., anyway, telling us the crew and Booker need therapy so she gave them some days off... I might need that too at this rate.
-Admiral Vance apparently has parasitic worms, no doubt from eating too much shit, I once joked that Dis writers are from the 1800s, but this just confirms it.
-Therapy, with the only doctor on board. Or in Starfleet, apparently. Another mention of no one's favorite "absolute candor", which, well, just as before, plays no role, so there's that.
-More pointless scenes from the most boring duo in the show, Adira & Grey, with Gray now looking like some rocker's stunt double.
-So the cadets are anxious and tense because after the Burn they grew up isolated on their planets... and never interacted with an alien before? Are you telling me that 1000 years into the future, most planets don't have sizable populations of aliens? Pretty sure by TNG, there were already planets where there were multiple populations... no wait, at the start of S3 of STD, when Burnham was roaming around the galaxy looking for clues, the population of every planet she went to had like a dozen different alien species, which was shown on screen. Ahahahaha, Dis can't even keep its own shitty continuity from the previous season.
-Also, David Cronenberg appears again, I guess he really needed to buy a new TV, though I doubt he'll watch Paramount+ on it.
-Tillie on the shuttle: "We have achieved comedy... eventually"
-"We've been hit by a rogue gamma ray burst" whew, thank God it was "rogue", otherwise our 32nd century sensors would have seen it and warned us about it, cause that's why they're called sensors. While at warp. When you most need sensors.
-"I'm a trained pilot, I can help" so how the fuck are you still a cadet then? You've learned to fly at 12 and somehow the personnel-hungry Starfleet didn't think to Wesley your way faster into the Academy? And if you're revealing just now that you're the pilot, who was flying the ship until now? The dead guy? Why? He was just a cadet, like you.
-And they crash land on a hostile world with constant lightnings, maybe the Zhat Vash will rescue them, that would be something.
-That's no moon, it's a wrong moon!
-Oh no, a redshirt is dead. I'm sure he'll be mentioned at the end of the episode. Anyway...
-"We're in a holo simulation, right?" You know, that might have actually been a better twist, it would have explained perfectly all the stupid shit in the B plot, and would have tied to the reason Cronenberg's character was at the beginning of the episode. It would have been a nice Kobayashu Maru-like episode, in which Tillie has to prove herself that he's capable of leading cadets, before the real deal, especially since Starfleet can't quite risk the lives of new blood, since they're still rebuilding. But nope, why choose smart, when you can choose... dramatic zoom in stupid.
-OK, let's see: a ship full of cadets is forced to crash land on a hostile planet due to negative space wedgie, where there are multi-limb creatures that can sense you due to really dumb reasons, ice will grow quickly and kill you, it's cold and in order to call for help they have to climb a hill/mountain and only there they can activate the beacon? Surprised their uniforms didn't turn black and one of the cadets saying: "My suit's turned black! I like it, but I think it's something bad!"
-Suddenly we're angry!
-Let's introduce ourselves right now, because if we did that before boarding the ship or before departing, it would have been logical and professional and this is Star Trek: Discovery, and we don't do that here.
-Again, the Earth Solar System had no alien residents? Pretty sure there were. And pretty sure based on "Future Tense" than there should be hybrids with multiple alien ancestors. You know, like President Rillak!?
-"I'm the only black alien in the group, and my family was slave to the Orions"
-Tell me about Harral, why does he wear the green mask? A lot of hard work to be taken seriously.
-Hey, Federation President, get this through your head: Brexit means Brexit. Article 50 means Article 50. Fuck you Picard, you failed to do a good Brexit metaphor like you loudly claimed to do, now we have to do it for you. You go and play with your dog.
-"If I may" No, Burnham, you may not. Sit down and shut the fuck up.
-"There's a difference between enduring and thriving" You endure the pendulum and the wrecking ball thrives! Just ask Miley Cyrus.
-Oh no, there might actually be a dark secret around here. What could it be.
-"Michelle Paradise and Tio Kurtzman put the corpse of the Star Trek franchise in the most memberberry position, but it quickly fell apart and we had to use Flex Tape to stitch it back into something plausible. We couldn't stop laughing at the final product and we're still laughing at it, 5 years later."
-"You were right about one thing master, the negotiations were a waste of good plot"
-Ah so Vance wasn't ill, he was just away... then why couldn't then he actually be officially away, it's not like there weren't a dozen other missions he could have go to instead.
-Tentacles! Welp, Kurtzman's porn folder is open again.
-"It can't see us with the equipment off" I'm pretty sure it can't sense you with the equipment off, also, why would the creature be attracted to machines if it consumes biomatter?
-"Kwejian was one of the most beautiful places in the known galaxy" You haven't even been there, how would you know?
-Hey, side note, is it actually possible for the show to give us character development that doesn't involve trauma, PTSD, grief or loss? No? Ah, OK, just asking.
-"A long-ass time" as opposed to "a thick-ass time"
-No, no, no, no, Burnham, stop it!
-Jesus Adira, don't you have a personality of your own? Oh wait, you don't even have a proper character, this season you're completely whiny, after in the previous season you acted a bit more mature.
-Lightning freezes now? Oh wait, it's "parasitic ice".
-Also, won't using that mini-replicator attract the creatures? Oh well, I guess that would mean Adira would die and we don't do that yet.
-"There is at least one monster chasing us, we already used a device that could very well attract said monsters, the clock is ticking, we could freeze and starve to death, meaning right now it's the time for us all to start bickering and bitching!"
-"My father fought against the oppressive system and died because of it, we did it boys, we ended racism! Good thing that conveniently happened, imagine if my father wasn't a fighter, you would have still hated me. Now all conflict is done. Hey monster, you can now come and chase us pls!"
-Well, it finally happened. Burnham has decided that the only way for negotiating parties that have been negotiating for months in order to negotiate a new deal for Ni'Var to join the Federation via negotiations, is to... negotiate... if the original negotiations reached an impasse, according to our Dear Lord and Savior Michale Burnahm, you must try alternatives, aka... negotiations... REALLY? And what's your solution? A mediating party? Namely you? Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Wow, you really had to be the only one to solve this problem.
-"I'm a citizen of Ni'Var" Umm, that's like a citizen from the Byzantine Empire time travelling to present day Turkey and claiming they're a citizen of Turkey, just because they were born in the same place. Pretty sure there are a couple of issues, namely a)you're officially a dead person until not long ago, b)pretty sure you'd need to go to some court and argue that your distant Vulcan citizen can be grandfathered into the Ni'Var citizenship, which would be difficult considering that Ni'Var is not in the Federation, while Vulcan was in the Federation, meaning there might be some legal issues, c)were there similar cases in the past, since if this is a first, it might take a while for the courts to reach a conclusion? Also, won't this have made a better episode, with Burnham having to appear in a court and argue that she should still be a Ni'Var citizen since she was a Vulcan citizen 900 years prior, but since that was part of the Federation, and she's also a Federation citizen, then why shouldn't the Ni'Var courts just ignore her alleged Vulcan citizenship, as Ni'Var is no longer in the Federation, thus they don't need to apply ancient laws? Oh wait, good ideas aren't allowed in Star Trek Discovery. Moving on.
-Wait, so the JJTrek-rippoff red monsters are not attracted by the lightning's EM signature, but they're attracted by technology? Why?
-Oh wow, the random redshit that died is actually mentioned... at the end of the episode... by the Starfleet officer guy... welp, better late and then never mentioned again.
-"We here in NuStarfleet award mediocrity because you guys arrived from 1000 years ago with an attitude that made us butthurt, somehow, now if you'll excuse me I need to quickly cash in my paycheck, that TV won't buy itself"
-BURNHAM ENDS BREXIT. IS THERE ANYTHING SHE CAN'T DO?
-And of course, the Federation president now adores Michael. Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!
-So the 32nd century treatment for PTSD and grief is to play in holographic/programmable matter sand. Yup, writers really still live in the 1800s.
-Tillie wants her character to grow, but since this is the Michael Burnham show, she must leave the show, since no one outshines our Lord and Savior Michael Burnham.
-Oh yeah, warp drives are still a thing.

Another funny comedy episode. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxcC3H1Aabg

[BridgeConsoleMasher]

So apparently I have Paramount+ at my house so I technically have no reason to not watch this show anymore.

Of course there is. You could do literally anything else with that time.

Just curious. Is there a game franchise that resembles the path of Star Trek to you, from TOS to modern Kurtsman era? EG: zelda on NES to zelda on Gamecube or something, and like in terms of a simultaneous evolution and devolution in your eyes.

[clearspira]

So apparently I have Paramount+ at my house so I technically have no reason to not watch this show anymore.

Of course there is. You could do literally anything else with that time.

Just curious. Is there a game franchise that resembles the path of Star Trek to you, from TOS to modern Kurtsman era? EG: zelda on NES to zelda on Gamecube or something, and like in terms of a simultaneous evolution and devolution in your eyes.

Well, here's the thing: I argue that there are three eras of live action Star Trek: TOS, TNG-ENT, DIS-PIC. In that light I would go for Duke Nukem.
It started as a colourful 2-D shooter with no budget, then became a semi-mature but tongue in cheek and fun loving 3D shooter that took the world by storm, then became a hollow shell of its former self with Duke Nukem Forever. A game selling itself solely on past glories rather than bringing anything of worth to the table.

[BridgeConsoleMasher]

Really though I think Doom might be a more suitable comparison.

[Makeshift Python]

Swords are stupid in any setting that has guns with the exception of something like Dune that is set up to allow them or Star Wars that relies on superpowers in order to make them semi-viable.

They are there because they are kewl.

People who want realism in STAR TREK should transport themselves into space to protect us from their infection.

I am all about the space opera: Apollo, swords, pirates, and giant amoeba.

If there’s one constant in this universe, it’s fanboys scrutinizing new Trek episodes in a way they wouldn’t bother with past shows. I’m sure there’s archived usenet discussions from 1995 with fans throwing their hands up in the air over Klingons boarding DS9 with their swords.

[clearspira]

Swords are stupid in any setting that has guns with the exception of something like Dune that is set up to allow them or Star Wars that relies on superpowers in order to make them semi-viable.

They are there because they are kewl.

People who want realism in STAR TREK should transport themselves into space to protect us from their infection.

I am all about the space opera: Apollo, swords, pirates, and giant amoeba.

I’m sure there’s archived usenet discussions from 1995 with fans throwing their hands up in the air over Klingons boarding DS9 with their swords.

I thought that was stupid then and it's stupid now. And yes, Clearspira absolutely is on a Usenet board somewhere moaning about Star Trek. This handle is indeed that old.

[BridgeConsoleMasher]

Surely Doom is a better representation of Star Trek than Duke Nukem.

[TGLS]

Nah, Sonic is a better comparison. Nobody can agree on which is best or worst (you'll find people defending even awful examples), executives keep changing the tone of the series, production is often troubled, and there's scads of official but not canonical fanfic.

[Riedquat]

Swords are stupid in any setting that has guns with the exception of something like Dune that is set up to allow them or Star Wars that relies on superpowers in order to make them semi-viable.

They are there because they are kewl.

People who want realism in STAR TREK should transport themselves into space to protect us from their infection.

I am all about the space opera: Apollo, swords, pirates, and giant amoeba.

I’m sure there’s archived usenet discussions from 1995 with fans throwing their hands up in the air over Klingons boarding DS9 with their swords.

I thought that was stupid then and it's stupid now. And yes, Clearspira absolutely is on a Usenet board somewhere moaning about Star Trek. This handle is indeed that old.

I suppose you could argue that swords might make a little bit of sense on a space ship where shooting holes through the side is a very bad idea. Although I can't think of a reason why you wouldn't go for spacesuits and guns to get around that problem.

Swords in a spacefight, unless you're working really well to integrate them in to the fictional universe so there are good in-universe reasons for using them (a la Dune) break willing suspension of disbelief for me.

Mind you I seem to recall Chuck complaining about the duel in Firefly using swords, which I thought was rather missing the point. It was a formalised combat, not a "fight the most effective way possible." Sure, argue about the whole idea of formalised combat to decide matters, but the means of it are irrelevant; might as well complain about fencing still being in the Olympics.