Cows in space

[Cassandra]

Star Trek: Cows from 1960s America explore the galaxy and discover that every planet in the galaxy suffers from one of the problems facing 1960s America.

Chekov-cow: Am not cow. Am bear.

Star Trek TNG Seasons 1&2: Cows from 1980s America explore the galaxy and discover that every planet in the galaxy suffers from one of the problems facing 1960s America.

Borg: We are cows. You will be eaten.

Romulans: You have a herd of cows. They constantly plot to take over the farm, but always get tangled up in the electric fence.

Cardassians: You have a herd of cows. They constantly plot to take over the farm, but all you can do is fight them to a stalemate.

Klingons: Not cows. Bulls.

Picard-cow: Can change you mind with mooving speeches.

Riker-cow: Bull.

LaForge-cow: No bull.

Wesley Crusher-cow: Cow-pie.

Star Trek DS9: Holy cow!

Orion Syndicate: You have two cows. Raimus takes his cut of the milk.

Ferengi: With the permission of the Grand Nagus, you are allowed to trade in cows.

Cardassian literature: You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state. You have two cows. They serve the state.

Mirror universe: Two cows have you. Oom.

Dominion: You have two cows. The Vorta tell you what to do with them.

Sisko-cow: Holy cow (to the Bajorans).

Star Trek: Voyager: You try to sell 500 dead cows as livestock. Few people are interested.

Kazon: You have two cows. They are special needs.

Ocampa: You have a herd of cows. The size of your herd halves every generation. Somehow, you still have a herd.

Borg: You have a herd of cows. They keep exploding after tripping over their own hooves.

Star Trek: Enterprise: You try to sell 200 rotting dead cows as livestock. Very few people are interested.

Babylon 5: Thirty cows go to the slaughterhouse. Twenty escape.

Earth Alliance (domestic policy): You have thirty thousand cows. Fuck everyone else. -OR- You have no cows, because the guy with 30,000 cows took all of yours.

Minbari: You have three cows. They spend their days looking for reasons to sacrifice themselves.

Centauri: You want all the cows.

Narn: The Centauri took all your cows.

Shadows: You have two cows. You kill one cow because killing it will make the other cow stronger. Somehow. Quick! Look over there! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

League ambassadors: Cow? What is cow?

Season 5: You couldn't imagine what to do with your cow, so you sent it to the rendering plant.

ISA: You have twenty cows that refuse to walk in the same direction. One is really a tyrannosaurus rex that somehow repeatedly surprises you despite the fact that you're in the middle of a flat grassland plain and have perfect visibility to the horizon.

Crusade/Legend of the Rangers/The Lost Tales: You used the output of the rendering plant to make a cow. It smells funny.

Ivanova-cow: мoo.

Delenn-cow: Has long hair. Likes bison.

Sheridan-cow: Orange cow.

Zathras: You have several cows, but you can see only one at once.

[TGLS]

Gundam 0079: Your cow is a whiny bitch so you slap him sideways and he becomes less whiny.

[Darth Wedgius]

Captain James T. Kirk-cow, who is sometimes a ham

Benjamin Siscow, known to the Qow Continuum as One Punch Cow.

...And as God is my witness, I have no idea what to do with Saru.

[Robovski]

John Cow-nig, leader of the moonbase Alpha, there to oversee toxic cheese disposal.

Cow Blake, commander of the Liberator and leader of Blake's Herd, passionately opposed to the Federation's injustice and monopoly over the best fields.

[J!!]

...And as God is my witness, I have no idea what to do with Saru.

Clearly, he's a great big chicken

[Durandal_1707]

The butcher's knife cares not for the cow's moo.

[SuccubusYuri]

Alright let's do this for Andromeda:

Andromeda Ascendant: 400 people show up at your sermon but you only have six burgers.

Sapient AI: Have been taught cows are sacred while inside the slaughterhouse, are strangely cool with it.

Neitzcheans: You cyberize and genetically modify your cows because you want the ranch to be organic. No really this plan will work out I'm sure.

Magog: You open a McDonald's

Pyrians: You open a Burger King (flame grilled. ha!)

Commonwealth: Your cows have unionized against your despotic rule but still pretty much elect a caste system.

Dylan: Is a better cow than most but P.T. Barnham takes over your PR in Season 3 and it's become a minotaur without your knowledge.

Trance: Pretty Patties. That can travel through time.

Tyr: You named your prize bull Cassandra and no one wants it for some reason.

Harper: You managed to make the cow that someone thought looked like Rob Schneider not-an-annoying-piece-of-shit, don't ruin it please.

Collectors: You bought the cows from Animal Farm.

Than: Brought an ant farm to the state faire.

[SlackerinDeNile]

Farscape: You have 6 cows and a bull, although the number of cows may vary, they are all on LDS and being chased by a huge pack (packs later on) of hungry wolves.

John Cow-ton: You have one cow who becomes more of a bull later on and continues to make pop-culture references...All. The. Time.

Cow-pius: You have one sick bull who can seemingly do anything except not live in boiling agony.

Peacekeepers: You have an ungodly number of angry, territorial bulls.

Scarrens: You have an even more ungodly number of genetically enhanced, angry bulls on steroids.

Nebari: You have an ungodly number of evil faux-cows.

Leviathans: Literal space cows.

Pilots: Space cow-ception.

[SlackerinDeNile]

Star Trek Discovery: Your cow is brought back from the dead with state of the art cybernetics. It is a very pretty cow but its mind has been re-programmed into a mess of modern, dark, edgy TV tropes and sci-fi ideas of debatable quality. This cow is still eager to impress and has an extensive knowledge of its old self but is effectively a completely different cow, for better or worse.

Also contains a literal space cow with cowey-sense.

[Durandal_1707]

Farscape: You have 6 cows and a bull, although the number of cows may vary, they are all on LDS

They're Mormons?