Why do we live in a world where people sympathize and side with rapists?

[Yukaphile]

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[J!!]

There is no singular, all-encompassing reason for why people think, feel, percieve, believe, & behave differently from the ways you think they should.

People are unique; they all have different opinions, view-points, reactions, beliefs, biases, preferences, loyalties, & perceptions, generally shaped by their own unique personal, social, & cultural experiences. These then inform the narrative they construct about the world & their own personal/social place in it, as well as that of others. These narratives tend to be built more around cognitive convenience than factual accuracy, and as such are generally far more simplistic than actual reality.

The sooner we come to terms with this, and with the fact that our individual percieved narrative is no more real or valid than anyone else's, the better of we all are.

[Yukaphile]

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[Yukaphile]

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[Fuzzy Necromancer]

The answer is Rape Culture.

In a lot of ways, society normalizes rape and pushes the burden on the victim to not get raped. It's nothing as gross or simple as "Rape is good!" (well, not normally...I've seen some alt-righters..)

Let's start with the classic mental image of the rapist, as a violent stranger attacking a woman in a dark ally. Most rapists are somebody you know, an uncle, an ex-boyfriend, a teacher. Rapists aren't slavering, easily-recognizable monsters. They know how to order the correct wine. They actively cultivate support among the community, invest in local businesses, and work up-front to be known as a Pillar of the Community, a Decent Guy or Gal, somebody you should defend, so that when it comes down to he said she said, they have all this weight of Reputation and Respectability to bring down on their victims.

Society paints rapists as slavering monsters because then it's easier to pretend that they aren't people we know and love, work and do business with, every day. It's easier to pretend that Dave, who got me this job, or Mary who covered my shift and comforted me when I got dumped, would never do something horrible like that, because they aren't some drooling creep in the shadowed streets.

When I was a little kid, in preschool, I ran around trying to kiss girls and they ran away from me (obviously). When I was reprimanded for it, I said "but I thought they wanted to be kissed". I'm really glad now that my teacher didn't just say "oh boys will be boys" or think it was cute, because that's how it starts.

Young men are taught that "no" doesn't really mean "no". Children are taught that consent isn't really important and that their bodies aren't exclusively their own. "No, you have to hug Aunt Mildred or you're Bad."

There's a lot more I could go into, but that's the start of it. It's an interlocking, overwhelming social narrative that says "No, it doesn't happen that way, that doesn't count".

[Yukaphile]

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[Antiboyscout]

The answer is Rape Culture.

In a lot of ways, society normalizes rape and pushes the burden on the victim to not get raped. It's nothing as gross or simple as "Rape is good!" (well, not normally...I've seen some alt-righters..)

Let's start with the classic mental image of the rapist, as a violent stranger attacking a woman in a dark ally. Most rapists are somebody you know, an uncle, an ex-boyfriend, a teacher. Rapists aren't slavering, easily-recognizable monsters. They know how to order the correct wine. They actively cultivate support among the community, invest in local businesses, and work up-front to be known as a Pillar of the Community, a Decent Guy or Gal, somebody you should defend, so that when it comes down to he said she said, they have all this weight of Reputation and Respectability to bring down on their victims.

Society paints rapists as slavering monsters because then it's easier to pretend that they aren't people we know and love, work and do business with, every day. It's easier to pretend that Dave, who got me this job, or Mary who covered my shift and comforted me when I got dumped, would never do something horrible like that, because they aren't some drooling creep in the shadowed streets.

When I was a little kid, in preschool, I ran around trying to kiss girls and they ran away from me (obviously). When I was reprimanded for it, I said "but I thought they wanted to be kissed". I'm really glad now that my teacher didn't just say "oh boys will be boys" or think it was cute, because that's how it starts.

Young men are taught that "no" doesn't really mean "no". Children are taught that consent isn't really important and that their bodies aren't exclusively their own. "No, you have to hug Aunt Mildred or you're Bad."

There's a lot more I could go into, but that's the start of it. It's an interlocking, overwhelming social narrative that says "No, it doesn't happen that way, that doesn't count".

I was taught a certain way but obviously everyone else was taught different. Stop.

If it was culture that protects rapists, then everyone would be protecting them not just people that know them personally or family members. You claim labeling rapists monsters part of this so called "rape culture" instead of the obvious dehumanizing tactic it really is. Think of the treatment of child molesters, they don't do well in prison and no one bats an eye if they are murdered on the inside. Everyone on a sex offender registry face endless harassment up to and including physical violence. This is how due process and innocent until proven guilty dies. If you insist on those things for "rapists" (guilty via accusation of course) you become a "rape apologist". This needs to stop.

[Yukaphile]

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[Yukaphile]

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[Yukaphile]

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