SNW: All Those Who Wander

[Mindworm]

https://sfdebris.com/videos/startrek/w109.php

This is one video where I can't agree with Chuck on how the show handled the Gorn.

-I don't buy the "it's the opposite of what VOY did to the Borg, so it's fine I guess" reason, because overcompensating for any flaws can sometimes be just as bad. It's like how in the awful Dragon Ball Evolution film, the writers turned Bulma into a stereotypical cartoonish Hollywood tough action girl boss, because they really thought the character needed "fixing", otherwise people couldn't take her seriously if she was different. Yeah, her characterization wasn't the best in the original, but this is just overcompensating because someone thought the original was stupid. Same here. Sure, the Gorn originally weren't the most successful alien design, but that was mostly because of the show's limited budget and the fact that even at the time doing any believable stunt work was difficult, moreso if the scene required special makeup (TOS simply simply didn't have the money and the resources to hire Ray Harryhausen or anyone with his similar skills). So I don't see how "upgrading" them from cheesy cosplay into generic CGI monsters is an "improvement".

-Given that the Xenomorphs in the Alien franchise are supposed to be essentially (smart) parasitic animals, they are best described as "getting syphilis after having unprotected sex with a sheep" or "Trichinosis after you ate contaminated food" (this is literally the "Space Special" joke in Spaceballs). As the Gorn were meant to be a metaphor for "one shouldn't succumb to savagery even if your foe is a literal savage" or something along those lines... yeah, I think there might be a tiny little problem with making the Gorn into actual bloodthirsty monsters.

-Not only it shits all over the already established canon regarding the Gorn, but keep in mind that Kurtzman also wrote "Into Darkness", where he had Alt-McCoy tell how he "once performed an emergency C-section on a pregnant Gorn. Octuplets, and let me tell you, those little bastards bite." So either the Gorn can get pregnant (meaning the whole "venom/eggs" is bullshit) or McCoy decided to surgically remove the Gorn murderous babies from an unlucky victim that was near-death, and somehow was able to survive being attacked by not just one Gorn baby (which has been shown to be capable of killing an adult man in this episode), but eight damn Gorn babies, and even joked about it! Sure, Kurtzman didn't wrote this episode, but he did produce it, meaning he would have had to approve such a drastic change. But he didn't care. In other words, Kurtzman has no fucking idea what he wrote for Star Trek.

-Also, what meaningful character development or interaction happened in this episode? Everybody acts like goddamn idiots. If this didn't feature Star Trek characters, I would have thought it was some cheap direct-to-DVD horror film.

It's pretty clear that the only reason the writers didn't bother creating a new species is because then the Xenomorph ripoff would have been even more obvious. It's safer to just reimagine an already established alien species, keeps the lawyers happy.

He just didn't care.

[McAvoy]

I thought Kurtzman is hands off with SNW? So what he wrote in the Abrams Trek movies may not apply because he may have had no input in the Gorn.

[Nobody700]

I thought Kurtzman is hands off with SNW? So what he wrote in the Abrams Trek movies may not apply because he may have had no input in the Gorn.

I actually heard he has a hand for season 3 of SNW. So ya know, Section 31 is back and even dumber than ever!

[McAvoy]

I thought Kurtzman is hands off with SNW? So what he wrote in the Abrams Trek movies may not apply because he may have had no input in the Gorn.

I actually heard he has a hand for season 3 of SNW. So ya know, Section 31 is back and even dumber than ever!

Damn. Here I was thinking the success of SNW was because he wasn't involved at all with it.

[Nobody700]

I thought Kurtzman is hands off with SNW? So what he wrote in the Abrams Trek movies may not apply because he may have had no input in the Gorn.

I actually heard he has a hand for season 3 of SNW. So ya know, Section 31 is back and even dumber than ever!

Damn. Here I was thinking the success of SNW was because he wasn't involved at all with it.

If Strange New Worlds Pilot was written by Kurtzman

Pike: Good job blowing up that AI satellite the federation built to spy on its citizens.
Spock: I only could because I copied Michael.
Una: He...
Pike: Man Michael was awesome, don't ya agree Spock?
Spock: No one was ever like her, she was the greatest sister of all time. I still cry myself to sleep thinking of her.
Ortega: I...
Pike: The way Section 31 built ANOTHER evil AI thing is wrong, one day they should just be made underground and never come up again, unless we're in a super dark war with a bunch of beings as evil as AI. (Pike winks at camera)
Spock: Indeed.
La'an:
Spock: Truly we shall have great adventures and... my tricorder detects something odd!

(A blue wave hits everyone and out comes Michael, proud of herself)

Michael: I'm back.
Spock: Fascinating.
Pike: I get the chair warm for you... captain.
M'Benga, Una, Ortega, La'an, Uhura, Chapel, and Hemmer's screen time was than halved for more scenes of Michael.

[McAvoy]

I thought Kurtzman is hands off with SNW? So what he wrote in the Abrams Trek movies may not apply because he may have had no input in the Gorn.

I actually heard he has a hand for season 3 of SNW. So ya know, Section 31 is back and even dumber than ever!

Damn. Here I was thinking the success of SNW was because he wasn't involved at all with it.

If Strange New Worlds Pilot was written by Kurtzman

Pike: Good job blowing up that AI satellite the federation built to spy on its citizens.
Spock: I only could because I copied Michael.
Una: He...
Pike: Man Michael was awesome, don't ya agree Spock?
Spock: No one was ever like her, she was the greatest sister of all time. I still cry myself to sleep thinking of her.
Ortega: I...
Pike: The way Section 31 built ANOTHER evil AI thing is wrong, one day they should just be made underground and never come up again, unless we're in a super dark war with a bunch of beings as evil as AI. (Pike winks at camera)
Spock: Indeed.
La'an:
Spock: Truly we shall have great adventures and... my tricorder detects something odd!

(A blue wave hits everyone and out comes Michael, proud of herself)

Michael: I'm back.
Spock: Fascinating.
Pike: I get the chair warm for you... captain.
M'Benga, Una, Ortega, La'an, Uhura, Chapel, and Hemmer's screen time was than halved for more scenes of Michael.

Nah I think if he was writing he would have made Uhura involved in place of Michael. The series would be around her. Canon be damned on how that would match with TOS.

The Gorn conflict would have been solved as a season long issue that only Uhura could solve. Probably would do Spock's job better than him too.

[Nobody700]

I thought Kurtzman is hands off with SNW? So what he wrote in the Abrams Trek movies may not apply because he may have had no input in the Gorn.

I actually heard he has a hand for season 3 of SNW. So ya know, Section 31 is back and even dumber than ever!

Damn. Here I was thinking the success of SNW was because he wasn't involved at all with it.

If Strange New Worlds Pilot was written by Kurtzman

Pike: Good job blowing up that AI satellite the federation built to spy on its citizens.
Spock: I only could because I copied Michael.
Una: He...
Pike: Man Michael was awesome, don't ya agree Spock?
Spock: No one was ever like her, she was the greatest sister of all time. I still cry myself to sleep thinking of her.
Ortega: I...
Pike: The way Section 31 built ANOTHER evil AI thing is wrong, one day they should just be made underground and never come up again, unless we're in a super dark war with a bunch of beings as evil as AI. (Pike winks at camera)
Spock: Indeed.
La'an:
Spock: Truly we shall have great adventures and... my tricorder detects something odd!

(A blue wave hits everyone and out comes Michael, proud of herself)

Michael: I'm back.
Spock: Fascinating.
Pike: I get the chair warm for you... captain.
M'Benga, Una, Ortega, La'an, Uhura, Chapel, and Hemmer's screen time was than halved for more scenes of Michael.

Nah I think if he was writing he would have made Uhura involved in place of Michael. The series would be around her. Canon be damned on how that would match with TOS.

The Gorn conflict would have been solved as a season long issue that only Uhura could solve. Probably would do Spock's job better than him too.

Nah, Uhura wouldn't take over, she's not 'special' enough, AKA related to characters Kurtzman rememebrs.

[clearspira]

I'm looking forward to the explanation of how Uhura goes from having a nearly shaved head to a beehive. She must have hair growth like a Saiyan. She loses several pounds and gets a boob job too.

[TGLS]

I'm looking forward to the explanation of how Uhura goes from having a nearly shaved head to a beehive. She must have hair growth like a Saiyan. She loses several pounds and gets a boob job too.

Maybe we'll see after we get an explanation why Kirk tore out all the monitors and replaced them with blinky lights.

[clearspira]

I'm looking forward to the explanation of how Uhura goes from having a nearly shaved head to a beehive. She must have hair growth like a Saiyan. She loses several pounds and gets a boob job too.

Maybe we'll see after we get an explanation why Kirk tore out all the monitors and replaced them with blinky lights.

The irony of that is, TOS, TAS, TNG, DS9, ENT, PIC and Lower Decks are all pretty consistent now on what the old Enterprise looked like (VOY never made reference to it). It's just STD and SNW that is running with the idea that this is meant to be canon.

And I'm fine with that. Makes it far easier for me to just headcanon them out of existence.