Critiques Wanted - Rough Draft - 'The 6:45 from Charleston - A Patrisha Richenbacher Adventure'

[ProfessorDetective]

So, I've had a few novels brewing in my mind for a long while. One of them is a young adult series about a mystery nerd traveling to the city after a tragedy and stumbling backwards into a life as an mature sleuth. 'Kimmy Schmidt meets Jessica Jones' was my original concept.

Well, a combo of a dead computer and a bout of depression lit a fire under me and I tapped out the first chapter and a half over the last few hours. And since we have a few literary inclined folk on the board, I thought I'd throw it out here and see what y'all say.

Be gental and excuse the poor proofreading and weird formatting, working off my smartphone here. I seem to write dialogue like chat logs for some reason.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1z0c ... p=drivesdk