Series you want Chuck to review to watch him blow his top

[Frustration]

I suspect you're not the intended audience which is very much teen girls, as at being a power fantasy for them it worked out great.

I've seen plenty of films that are meant as fantasies for targeted subgroups but which still had redeeming qualities - The Craft is perhaps the classic example of an unbearably-girly movie that gets better once the stakes are raised and people start dying. Jupiter Ascending makes absolutely no sense and its plot is nonsensical. And repeats itself. Also, it repeats itself. Repetitiously.

Sometimes mediocre creators happen to create something extraordinary in their first major project, and they get a reputation that their later efforts can't sustain. Think M. Night Shyamalan. With the Wachowskis, their post-The Matrix work has been pretty underwhelming IMO. They just happened to catch lightning in a bottle early-on.

[stryke]

With the Wachowskis, their post-The Matrix work has been pretty underwhelming IMO. They just happened to catch lightning in a bottle early-on.

For me the Wachowskis only approached the heights of the first Matrix with the second half of Speed Racer. First half is diabolically bad. Waaaaay worse than the sequels or Jupiter Ascending (which I don't think is all that good either, I just get why it has a devoted fandom).

Then comes the "Ninjas? More like none-jas" line, and the film catches fire and it becomes an absolute joy to watch. It's legitimately remarkable the pheonix like transformation as it goes from a 1* to a 5* film in the course of that one scene. Honnestly can't think of any other film that has managed that turnaround.

[Mabus]

-Jupiter Ascending (2015): How did the Wachowskis get from The Matrix to this?

I suspect you're not the intended audience which is very much teen girls, as at being a power fantasy for them it worked out great. It's a rare film in that respect and so I don't think it's worth getting mad at. Sure it is very, very dumb, and it very much shares that in common to when teen boys get pandered to in such a fashion.

So now films for teen girls can only be stupid? The Hunger Games series was written for teen girls, and, for all its flaws, the film is not bad. I've watched it and found it good, and I'm not the intended audience.

The biggest issues Jupiter Ascending suffers from are: it's a bloated mess, where there are like 10 stories crammed into 2 hours, ridiculous dialogue, way too many characters that don't get any significant development, save for maybe 2 or 3, plenty of scenes that have no purpose and serve no purpose to any of the 10 stories, or were just not needed. Maybe the film would have worked better as a TV series or mini-series, but certainly not as a movie. You need more time to properly expand the world and its characters, and 2 hours are absolutely not enough for that.

It feels like someone chopped a TV series into a collage of scenes and called it a film.

[Frustration]

Then comes the "Ninjas? More like none-jas" line, and the film catches fire and it becomes an absolute joy to watch. It's legitimately remarkable the pheonix like transformation as it goes from a 1* to a 5* film in the course of that one scene. Honnestly can't think of any other film that has managed that turnaround.

Films aren't, say, live theater performances. They're reviewed as a whole, and released as a whole, and the directors have pretty complete control over the entire thing.

Going from bad to great may be a sort of accomplishment, but there's no excuse for the 'bad' existing in the film in the first place. If they can transmute lead into gold, there's no reason for lead to be left in their work.

[stryke]

Missing my point I feel. Overall I'd never say that Speed Racer is a good film as that beginning is really unwatchable to the point of being painful. Most films have some mix of good and bad to be found. Even the most popular well reviewed films including the first Matrix have bits you could find unexcusable if you so wanted. That dumbass studio inflicted humans as batteries thing for a start.

Speed Racer I find remarkable though as it is so very bloody weird to have it clearly split right down the middle to the point where there's a line of dialogue where I can pinpoint the quality change.

My attempt at a point was they did achieve something great again for half a film after the first Matrix so that's better than having done nothing of worth since, and it's just a real shame that it's attached to the first half of that same film that is so absolutely dire.

Also funny you mention theatre potentially being a game of two halves as I do remember going to see a rather woeful performance of Return to the Forbidden Planet (never a good sign when they just have a single drum kit), and the guy playing Ariel came out to have a go at some members of the audience for not being engaged enough for his liking at the halfway intermission.

[Frustration]

My point is that if they didn't understand what made the first half bad, then likely they didn't understand what made the second half good. It must have simply been dumb luck that they achieved something worth watching.

If they had the ability to recognize that the first half was bad, and they had the means to alter it and make it good, then they can only have been lacking in the desire to improve it, which is inexcusable.

[stryke]

I've just realised this is very glass half empty/glass half full and now find it significantly funnier

[sayla0079]

lol you really want him to lose it get him to review the live action Double Dragon movie from the 90s

[Deledrius]

-Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017): Chuck might have to review The Fifth Element first, since I feel that movie captures most of the spirit of the Valerian comics better. Still, there is so much shit in this film Chuck would probably go mad from trying to make sense of the plot.

That movie was rough. I'm sad it did so poorly because the universe it set up is an interesting one and now that they've gotten the stupid will they/won't they plot out of the way maybe we can not spend time on a chemistry-free romance in a potential sequel (which will never happen). I liked a good deal of it, but there's a lot of places it just grinds itself to a halt, too. I don't think the leads worked, and I'm not sure where the blame lies for that, but it drags the whole movie down.

The sad/funny situation here is that The Fifth Element exists as inspired by Valerian, but Besson didn't have the rights and made his own thing. And it was the better film by far.

[McAvoy]

-Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017): Chuck might have to review The Fifth Element first, since I feel that movie captures most of the spirit of the Valerian comics better. Still, there is so much shit in this film Chuck would probably go mad from trying to make sense of the plot.

That movie was rough. I'm sad it did so poorly because the universe it set up is an interesting one and now that they've gotten the stupid will they/won't they plot out of the way maybe we can not spend time on a chemistry-free romance in a potential sequel (which will never happen). I liked a good deal of it, but there's a lot of places it just grinds itself to a halt, too. I don't think the leads worked, and I'm not sure where the blame lies for that, but it drags the whole movie down.

The sad/funny situation here is that The Fifth Element exists as inspired by Valerian, but Besson didn't have the rights and made his own thing. And it was the better film by far.

I really tried to watch this movie. Really did. First ten minutes looks great. And went downhill after that.